I can hold a grudge the way a normal person would a newborn baby:

I cradle it, nurture it, watching it to grow and teaching it how to kill. 

Chris Kovacs: 

The managing director of a camp I worked at when I was 17.  Told everyone what to do, but never did any actual work himself.  Swaggered around like he was cock of the walk, but was really an oaf and a lay-about and a pompous arse.

Andrew Nicholas McCann Smith XII:

My self-appointed evil doppelganger.  Went to great lengths to parody my life on several occasions in an attempt to make me look foolish.  Would trick me into showing him comics that I was working on, and would then create an identical strip and submit it to the same newspaper on the same week, making me seem incredibly unoriginal.  Encouraged me to move back to Toronto from Quebec, and then when I did,moved to Japan without telling me or saying goodbye.  Also faked his own marriage. 

Catherine Ying:

Friend of Andrew Nicholas McCann Smith XII.  Subletted my apartment for the summer of 2003, which included my furniture and a phone line left in my name, on the condition that she move my things and pay my phone bill at the end of the lease.  Ran the bill up for 4 months before paying it, then moved some of my things to my new apartment.  (These things did not include my lamp, microwave, chairs, coffee machine or bed). 

Uncle Rob:

My father’s brother.  Still dislikes me because I intentionally annoyed him when I was a child, and still holds that against me 16 years later.  Constantly insults and belittles me and then scratches his shiny head when I avoid contact with him.  Drilled a hole in the back of my sailboat to “let the water out of it”, which I find either completely unbelievable or uncommonly stupid. 

Drunk Separatist in Jeanne-Mance Park: 

 Accosted my girlfriend and I in the park for no other reason than that we were speaking English and were clearly happier than him.  Told me to go back to Ontario, and although that is where I’m from, he had no way of knowing that. 

Sam Stuart: 

 Supposedly hired to renovate my father’s dilapidated house, but spent most of the money they gave him on unnecessary purchases and pot.  Threatened to shoot my father through his living room window with a crossbow while he was watching TV, then stole my sailboat.